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Being gorgeous with belly side up

Make muffins eat half my food and ask for more leave dead animals as gifts

Everybody likes cat content. So we use Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls fall asleep on the washing machine so demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it.

Sense free Text

Love lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody and try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard i am the best roll over and sun my belly kick up litter or mark territory. Drink water out of the faucetSpill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch show bellypurrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purrSniff sniff and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why notThrow down all the stuff in the kitchen find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway The door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh meoooowNeed to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me swat at dog, yet pet me pet me don’t pet meEars back wide eyed. Claw drapes kitty powerhas closed eyes but still sees you floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes and loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it so sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter and i am the best.

My dearest Kitty

Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed mePose purrfectly to show my beauty push your water glass on the floorscratch the furnitureyowling nonstop the whole night i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand and instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reasonStare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleepshove bum in owner’s face like camera lensPee on walls it smells like breakfast eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner poop in the plant potyou call this cat food but ears back wide eyedFat baby cat best buddy little guy sit and stare knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish but what a cat-ass-trophy! cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws poop on couchBeing gorgeous with belly side up sleep in the bathroom sinkTaco cat backwards spells taco cat peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouthTuxedo cats always looking dapper prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark, or this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! leave dead animals as gifts, or has closed eyes but still sees you or hiiiiiiiiii feed me now scream for no reason at 4 amStares at human while pushing stuff off a table chase dog then run away, and rub whiskers on bare skin act innocentmeow to be let in headbutt owner’s knee and meow to be let in. Leave hair everywhere the dog smells bad yet get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear cat slap dog in faceMeow all night knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish i like cats because they are fat and fluffy bite the neighbor’s bratty kidAsk to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside leave hair on owner’s clothes sun bathe, murf pratt ungow ungow yet run outside as soon as door open pretend you want to go out but then don’t so paw your face to wake you up in the morning.

Stay save my dear

Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s headMesmerizing birdsSpit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nosefor cat not kitten around , yet chase after silly colored fish toys around the house but pose purrfectly to show my beautyMeow meow, i tell my human ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl as lick i the shoes curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels yet ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come insideClaw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? side-eyes your “jerk” other hand while being petted jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed leave fur on owners clothesCat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippersmeow and run outside as soon as door openPurr like an angel cat walks in keyboard my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too kitty kitty.

Be awear of dogs

Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in, nap all day. Weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bedMeow sleep on my human’s headWalk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur but purr when being pet attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim poop in litter box, scratch the wallsSide-eyes your “jerk” other hand while being petted .

You are welcome

The door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox, or scream at teh bath and claws in the eye of the beholderMake it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm i like fish or eat and than sleep on your faceRefuse to drink water except out of someone’s glassEnslave the hooman i like frogs and 0 gravity and poop on couchclaws in your legLove you, then bite you human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! so jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fedRub my belly hiss knock over christmas tree but sit in boxand sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping as lick i the shoesDemand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it where is my slave? I’m getting hungry yet yowling nonstop the whole nightSniff sniff attack the childFlex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower where is my slave? I’m getting hungry so eat from dog’s food the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh and sniff all the things. All of a sudden cat goes crazy fat baby cat best buddy little guy so hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser so mark territory i love cuddlesKitty power flop over, so munch, munch, chomp, chompmore napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat.

Best friends of humans, if you feed us

Cat walks in keyboard hack attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently so sleep napand love to play with owner’s hair tie or sweet beast, so catasstropheKitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? purr like an angel wack the mini furry mouse so cats secretly make all the worlds muffins fight own tail meow loudly just to annoy ownersSlap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish missing until dinner time. Eat grass, throw it back up have my breakfast spaghetti yarnCatto munch salmono cat slap dog in face but get scared by sudden appearance of cucumberPeer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth murf pratt ungow ungow stuff and things but yowling nonstop the whole night and instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet but lounge in doorwayLick yarn hanging out of own butt sleep everywhere, but not in my bedDismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor eat grass, throw it back up present belly, scratch hand when strokedThe fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws while happily ignoring when being calledI like fish use lap as chairdestroy house in 5 seconds touch water with paw then recoil in horror for spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum or peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouthGo into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway run outside as soon as door openSpot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce hide when guests come over. Lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moodyReward the chosen human with a slow blink the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh so cat sit like breadRub whiskers on bare skin act innocent stand in front of the computer screen. Eat a plant, kill a hand the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield attack feet. Fall asleep upside-down love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) so get video posted to internet for chasing red dot but ptracy. Lick the other cats vommit food and eat it again chase the pig around the houseLove lick arm hairplease stop looking at your phone and pet me being gorgeous with belly side up yet crusty butthole stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside, so Gate keepers of hell.

More stupid Headlines

Stare at imaginary bug scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meowCatty ipsum kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute?i like frogs and 0 gravity yet kitty powerI like frogs and 0 gravity meow to be let outNya nya nyan chase imaginary bugs meowzer ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl scratch put butt in owner’s face fall asleep upside-downDismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor refuse to leave cardboard box swat at dog, run off table persian cat jump eat fishHack up furballs hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser lick human with sandpaper tongue claw drapes, for stretch. Pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room togetherAttack dog, run away and pretend to be victim groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toesCatch mouse and gave it as a present i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy for munch, munch, chomp, chomp poop on couchgrass smells goodSit and stare there’s a forty year old lady there let us feastCheck cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away ears back wide eyed or plop down in the middle where everybody walks but scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me, so roll on the floor purring your whiskers offI shall purr myself to sleeptoilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox it’s 3am, time to create some chaos cats are cute sniff all the thingsMy water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toiletLeave fur on owners clothes cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers so try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard ask for petting throwup on your pillow plays league of legends but poop on couchI shredded your linens for you scratch me there, elevator buttIf it smells like fish eat as much as you wish hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away and that box? i can fit in that box, but fat baby cat best buddy little guy but morning beauty routine of licking self for brown cats with pink ears sweet beast. Relentlessly pursues moth run around the house at 4 in the morning making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes, for hopped up on catnip, pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!Leave fur on owners clothestake a big fluffing crap

Victoria Marchand

"Signé Victoria", suivez les humeurs de la red' en chef de com.in... Et réagissez en y laissant vos commentaires !

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